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Friday, August 25, 2017

What does one do to tick off the hours of the night...

 When one finds them self alone;

Its an interesting mood that wanes towards loneliness and not.
 I suppose in the scheme of things I should embrace the time alone as a gift, for the house was brimming full--oh, a few days ago. I know better not to dwell of this empty space and, make due with myself, its only for a short time.

At any rate, what does one do to tick off the hours of the night?
you make coffee.

About mid evening I put on a pot of coffee which ignited the endorphin's inside me. I poured the liquid comfort into a pale blue mug and stirred in two sugars and milk, preferring of course, cream, but settling on a generous splash of homogenized milk. At this time of night the sun was setting, and the evening air had a tinge of a chill like the tail end of September-the summer days were passing swiftly, too swiftly.
The cats were at random around the house, Ginger sleeping on a sleeping bag I was yet to put away from a camping trip in Washington State, then Dora lounging on the back porch, and kitty, the cat we found on our porch on a cold winters day, now draped over the back of the sofa.

What does one do to tick off the hours of the night?
sit at the computer.

I felt I could've engaged in a full conversation within a group of people tonight, but could see that my time zone did not include the friend's online with which I normally converse with. I phoned my forever friend to come for coffee but she was working the night shift up at the hospital, and so, I did the next best thing, I poured another cup of coffee in that pale-blue mug and sat and read all of you, and others.

It isn't unusual of me to pass through a night quietly reading online, though its been a spell since I have.
Its a gentle weaving through social media where, you can imagine hearing conversations perfectly through the written words with which linger long after, like echoes of life. And its that unusual time that you stumble across the written words of one who inspires you, like tonight, a friend of a friends...though it doesn't matter 'who...' as much as the desire to join in on the conversation. Its easy to do so, if not on a whim, but I'm stubborn in that way.

What does one do to tick off the hours of the night?
re-frame from joining other social media sites.

Been there-done that, though tonight I could feel the stirrings of looking in from outside of facebook, wanting to join in around the virtual table of chatter. Its funny how that sense of urge wanes every now and again, well, until I urge it all back. I suppose in the end, I am well enough with the places my words tend to fall, like a home for all my thoughts in an apartment no one knows about.

What does one do to tick off the hours of the night?
vent.

She's a nut. Not you, her.You might not know that of me and my quiet thoughts, because I like everyone, but this is the truth in secret-I've never been more aware of one person to which I can read as clear as a perfectly polished window. I suppose the most frustrating part is--why doesn't anyone else? or do they.
All things said, a vent is a vent, it blows air, and sometimes it clears it like.

What does one do to tick off the hours of the night?
get unhinged.

About now, half past midnight, I can guess without looking outside, that the night air carries only but the sound of a distant car, and the occasional rustle from the drying gardens-gasping with the last of summer. The sound of the TV is an exception-it keeps me company. I feel bold and nonchalant, but then weepy. I reflect upon the day with mom and our drive down the freeway to see her friend, and our lovely lunch at the golf course. I'm losing mom inch by inch in conversation. Its hard to speak of. I assume to believe its not happening. I leave it on my pillow at night. Last week she didn't know a black eye susan, though I only know of the plant because of her. On the bright side, mom named all the other plants in the neighbours garden.

What does one do to tick off the hours of the night?
say good night.