tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71565315108506129822023-07-27T06:42:50.749-07:00Writing From British Columbia.Former Silentwhisper1.Presently known As Cndmade. Welcome Silentwhisper1http://www.blogger.com/profile/06298155592217052102noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7156531510850612982.post-45572048578585109892020-06-21T03:06:00.001-07:002020-06-21T03:06:41.390-07:00Till next time dad..<span style="font-size: large;">Its a strange world right about now, dad, I can only imagine your reaction to it if you were still here...but your not. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">We will gather for father's day tomorrow as we have in the past with the younger father's, however, for myself and mom and Dave, the longing for you is like a missing limb, a branch, a root.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Mom is fine, I know you would wonder, if you could wonder. She's so independent, not that she wasn't before, but there were some simple things I wished you showed her, like how to use the tv remote, know her way around the breaker box, and change batteries in things, etc.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> That said, mom is still the person you know who rarely complains, in fact, often I worry she is lonely living alone, but she would never really tell me. At any event, you would be surprised to know on the other hand of things of how mom has become a bit bolder--stubborn and determined. Its been interesting for me in the ways of getting to know this new mom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In case you might think otherwise, I know mom misses you by the way she tends over your garden, pokes about in your green house, feeds the hummers, and lately, talks of your camping trips. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Back to the garden-your plants have grown back as if no time passed, they have at my house too. I found you with a smile, one sunny day in March when I noticed one of your special flags in bloom, it looked just like a bumblebee! you would have been so modestly--please.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Your grown grand children are doing well. Most of what you knew is the same, life has its ups and downs. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">The great grands are growing, Ava is eight and Maddy is five, and little guy is two. I wished you had had more time with him, dad, he's such a character!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Ava still remembers you, case your wondering, I can tell anytime we're talking about you. And Maddy has always been drawn to your framed photos mom has around the house. There's always that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">You were a good dad, dad, still are, for I haven't been able to let you go. Its the most sorrowful thing to lose you, you know--but,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"> I have learned a few things in the last passed year an a half, things about grief and loss. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">I learned that there is no words of comfort, but jagged days and months and years from which loss wanes in and out. I have learned good and bad habits to fight it off. Strength means nothing, although the beginning of this year I experienced a quiet epiphany of courage. I have been in a full run since you left, only now I'm learning to take a breath. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In aging this past year I see you in the mirror. In fact I see you now in many things--at which I can accept with less sorrow, so it seems.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I guess one wouldn't know until they have experienced it, loss so great, as you, dad. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">There's one thing though, that was true in what someone said to me last year, that grief lightens as time goes by. I suppose there's some truth in that, but tonight I dearly miss you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">In parting I want you to know that you are not forgotten. In the hours to come we will all gather in our small clan like every year, play with the kid's, look at the garden, have smokies and hotdogs.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Till next time, dad, happy father's day xo.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Silentwhisper1http://www.blogger.com/profile/06298155592217052102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7156531510850612982.post-69463394150560618642020-05-17T23:28:00.000-07:002020-05-17T23:28:08.847-07:00May Long Weekend..<span style="font-size: large;">The day that followed the morning went by with little adventure, mostly I puttered around the garden, while waning clouds floated over the valley and sprinkled the garden.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I've been meaning to write of these cancer treatments but find myself pushing past the daily visits in an unconscious movement of not looking back, something I probably taught myself through the grief of losing dad. At any event I have two more weeks and two days left of radiation treatments, on the cusp of a covid outbreak at my hospital. I can only hope that those nurses in the icu and other health workers who tested positive will get through this sickness swiftly, and lightly. And that the rest of us stay healthy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Its our Canadian May long weekend, the official start to our camping season from which is usually met with a parade of rv's on the freeway. This year however, because of this pandemic, campsites will not open until June, though I can assure you people are camping in our mountains off forestry roads as I speak. Today there was a car roll over in that same direction. A few weeks ago another car roll over, and an atv roll over where two young children died.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">These parts of mountainous beauty are an attractant to those near and far,</span><span style="font-size: large;"> but also deadly. I never camp on long weekends.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That said, I believe all the gardeners and builders of things stayed home this weekend. Tomorrow I will meet the day with a hot coffee and a good walk-not far.</span><br />
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<br />Silentwhisper1http://www.blogger.com/profile/06298155592217052102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7156531510850612982.post-26768689425049606002020-05-09T23:23:00.001-07:002020-05-09T23:46:15.771-07:00Coffee and words.<span style="font-size: large;">The heat of the day has fallen. The beginning of May has been surprisingly warm, record breaking even. Everyone is gardening, and setting up patio lights.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There's been this false security here however, even within myself, from which you wouldn't know there's a pandemic occurring in British Columbia out from the regular movement of citizens-that being said we as a province have done due diligence earlier on with the flattening of the curve, and continue to see numbers go down. But we have also been warned that we are not at the end of the pandemic yet, and need to be mindful of others and patient while we slowly go through the stages of reopening. So far we are days away from being allowed to be in a group of six, preferably outdoors, and sitting a distance from one another. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">It all sounds so foreign, this time in our life. Twitter reminds me just how challenging it is for others, especially in other countries.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">In some cases I couldn't bear seeing anymore tragic news coming out from America, especially the State of New York, which seems a million light years away from us, though on the other hand, it feels like just around the corner when it comes to sharing a pandemic, and '<i>being in this together</i>.' </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">There's those heartfelt and funny stories coming out of this time too, I find myself filling my time online with the little tides of happiness and inspiration. There's really good people out there! sometimes in small compassionate circles, and even..with some unlikely people. I'll leave this post at that, with good people.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>Silentwhisper1http://www.blogger.com/profile/06298155592217052102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7156531510850612982.post-77986499750358313412020-04-25T22:38:00.002-07:002020-04-25T22:44:27.674-07:00No need for a title. I'm here.<span style="font-size: large;">This is a strange time. So much so that it took a pandemic for me to re-enter this blog. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Its been years! I suppose I didn't have much to say, or things just seemed too 'hard' to say, either way--I'm here now.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: large;">I wish I had more in conversation, I am so out of tune with length, adjusting years ago on twitter with little more than a few sentences, later, maybe a paragraph. I have lots in me to say however, but its a call of the heart that really drives me, for this I should wait. Good things come in time, though so does shitty things.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">That said? where is the spell check on blogger? auto correct? have I become lazy??</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Don't answer that.</span><br />
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<br />Silentwhisper1http://www.blogger.com/profile/06298155592217052102noreply@blogger.com3