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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

I wish I had...in Mexico

Tonight's wind was unusual. In fact? it wasn't a fall wind as we would know it to be, but a tropical breeze feathering up images in my head of my visit to Los Cabos last spring.

Oh, how I could go there right now ( smiling in thought) and how I feel this pull to get up and go and, well, find the well being along the warmth of the sand and tropical breeze over looking turquoise water during breakfast on a patio laced with rot iron railings and friendly people sipping coffee and tea just like me, though I was looking into the loving eyes of a man, who....waited half our adult life to walk together hand in hand along that sand we faced with the waves rolling up on the beach where... the morning sky kissed my cheek and gave a little wink to new beginnings with familiar love in a land unlike our own, but, a land of wonder and possibilities, and....hope.

I found you that evening looking out over the water and wondered what you were thinking. Were you thanking your blessings for all the different moons gone by to see this one? I wondered and spoke none from the moon catching the glint of water in my eyes with the thought. What if? What then? How would I live......

And cause we've come so far and survived this long I couldn't turn away, not even now, not then when you needed me the most and, now, in this time where I search for my own peace, right here where you are, no matter the place.

I've forgotten till now just how we used to be and how we couldn't have imagined where and what we'd have--now.Such cherished memories of little one's growing up with hair like mine-eyes like yours and again, little one's they share in our wonder of all the years that have passed with yesterday.

I wanted to push your hair from your eyes and look into them like before, back then, but, I didn't. Instead I wove my arm through yours and looked up into the same night sky at the same formation of stars looked upon twenty-six-years ago with....deep heart of yesterday and searching heart of tomorrow-wondering what was next and what was left of the sand falling through our fingers of time.

The beautiful morning sun rose and shook my hand-a thankful greeting. I looked at him from across the breakfast table without him knowing-sun in his eyes-and, for the first time I seen the years play lightly on his face-around his blue eyes and, I adored him all the more silently with good intentions to say.....and I didn't.
I just didn't-
and wished I had.

~~~~
Music of influence~I Won't Give Up On You~By Jason Mraz