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Friday, October 17, 2014

Life~

I watched her in all-her-red-haired glory sweep out of the house and towards the driveway and into a friends car. I felt the weight of my heart, just a little, and waved it away as surely as it came.
Life.

She was a winter baby, born on a dreary week in January where the wind was fierce and the rain slapped  against my hospital window like monsters, almost eighteen years ago.
She is last of two daughter's-home. You'll understand. Its difficult sitting here alone.
Life.

It would seem for the moment, that I'll never get used to seeing her and her friend's grow into young women, not when my visions still hold they're small and youthful faces in my hands.
And I'll not get used to seeing them jump in cars and set off, leaving me to feel as if I should ask the hours of driving one has acquired before lift-off. Certainly I've belated Lily's road test as much as I can, well, until she told me of her December appointment for the final road test. I've got to get her ready quickly now.
Life.

Should I feel better that both the girl's just told me that they're high school parking lot is a demolition derby at it's best? "Snorts." There's video I hear on youtube of it. But! oh, they laugh now, wait until they go to the Shoppers Drugmart parking lot on seniors day! Your in for a-one-glance-treat! But you best have your foot on the break and ten million eye balls. They'll see, hopefully.
Life.

It'll be a sad, dark, day, without chocolate when I finally realize that no one needs me anymore. I only wished once, and that was moons ago, that the girl's were old enough to get out of their own...damn seat belts and plop out of the car. I never expected them to completely grow up. And I certainly never thought my last child would provoke in me a wish to be invited along with the girl's to the mall, in that goofy looking bug of a car they just jumped into."Humph."
Life.






Friday, October 3, 2014

Everyone Has A Story.....

Blogs are an interesting concept, don't you think? Endless words that can go on and on and paint pictures of all kinds of moods swaying like the long---strands of wheat bent with a brush of a cosmic wind.

I've been blogging a long time. A really long time, actually. And in some ways one can grow weary of all the time spent inside the head, contemplating, (gosh....) contemplating what will be said next. Or even, whether anything will be said at all.

 Is it not a boiling pot of robust flavors stewing over a high heat which that unleashes the aroma of only  two specific ingredients that makes you think of all the others? Then of course, one would expect only a prelude to what would come, wouldn't you think? Hark! Not, but, for what beholds of two ingredients, could very well then mask the true identity of all the rest.

What the hell am I talking about........

"coughs..."

About the way we write, sometimes in riddles so as we avoid the truth, or to avoid the great-long-life-version.

I simply want to write,is all, though, find no avenue or simmering pot of inspiration to do so, outside of a few sampled tea spoons of flavor to my lips, which I'm not content with.

Oh, I have much to write of, indeed. Like the recent news of my husband's decline of a job offer and drastic move from our home, and, the long road of emotion through our family in the lengthy wait of decision where, I'm now spent and weary and lethargic of words, wondering if at all! saying anything really matters.
Because everyone's got a story.

Of the virtual wave of a hand I cast this unbecoming conversation aside. Moments have us in states of mind that thankfully fleet with a cosmic wind.
 And I shall be like my parent's who late in the evening indulge in a slice of toast with a thick layer of homemade jam,strawberry,and nestle in to watch the TV show, Who's Line Is It.